May 6, 2012

Every Life Has a Lesson

What's the one thing you want people to learn from your life? What do you want to teach others? Better yet, what are you teaching?

When answering that question for myself, the one thing that boldly came to mind was this one statement "YOU MATTER". It's the one thing I want people to learn from my life.

I grew up in a family of six. I am the oldest of four kids. I have a brother, David who is 14 months younger and twin sisters, Amber and Amanda who are six years younger than I am. My parents were Christian school teachers. We grew up in a 900 square foot, one and half bathroom house in Pinellas Park, Florida. We spent most of our days either in school or at church. There was never a doubt in my mind that God was real, present, our redeemer and the world's creator- until-my world came crashing down at the age of 14.

My dad made a mistake, a big one, and he and my mom were separated. My dad was the ultimate father figure and when I learned he was fallible. When I learned he was human. When I learned he had a sin nature, it crushed me. It shook my faith to it's core. For the first time in my life I asked the question "Is God real?". My dad's betrayal to our family was painful, but the idea that God may not really exist, well that was earth-shattering. I moaned and wailed and wept and simply cried out to God, "Are you there?". I needed proof, I was 14 and wanted something. In a deeply painful prayer I asked God if He was there at 2:00 am to make the poster on my wall fall. I had had this huge red poster hung on my wall for years with over 2 packs of sticky tack, the thing never budged. A moment after I uttered the prayer in my heart, I heard a pop. The poster fell ! I wept tears of joy because I knew, at that moment the Creator of the Universe, was in my little room and cared about me! Lesson One- God cares about your problems. He is with you in sorrow.

My dad repented, and in a huge way. He went before the church for forgiveness and came home a year later. He and my mom will celebrate 33 years of marriage in June. As an adult, I realize now, he was human. He has a sin nature like we all do. No one is perfect. We all need grace, every moment, every hour, as much as we need oxygen. I am so proud of my dad and the man he is today.

While my family was dealing with their struggles, I was dealing with being 15. I was at a new school and I was bullied. Girls threatened to beat me up. The only person who would let me sit by them at school was the girl who always had lice and rarely showered. I would go to sit down at lunch and hear "seat's saved"- when noone was coming. I can't tell you why I was bullied. Maybe because I was the teacher's kid, maybe because everyone knew about what was happening, maybe kids are just mean. Either way, I felt unwanted. I told myself that my parents didn't pick me. I was just what came out. I had no friends. I was depressed and suicidal. I would have killed myself, but I don't like pain. I just kept thinking that no one would miss me if I was gone. My parents moved me out of that horrible school and the next year I made friends. I still struggled with the feeling of being not good enough. The summer before my 16 th birthday, I went to church camp. It was the highlight of my short life. For one week, I was the popular girl. Then, I hit high school.

Another new school and this time I had only one antagonist. A boy named Stephen who made it his life's mission to harass me. When I would walk into a room he would get the other boys to sing "here she comes, Miss America". When I would ask a question in class, he would quickly remind me why I should already know that. He tried to make me feel stupid for asking. However, I hated not understanding things so I asked the question anyway. This time I could deal with Stephen because I had a whole army of church friends thanks to summer camp. I didn't need school friends to feel important because I had great friends at church. In fact 15 years later, I am still close friends with the people I met at camp. However, as a girl, I still struggled with feeling ugly, unwanted and not good enough. One day in my Bible reading I read the verse from Psalms "I will praise you Oh Lord for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are thy works and that my soul knoweth it well." I knew God looked at all his creation and said it was good. I realized that God doesn't make mistakes. And since God made me, I was not a mistake. I was fearfully made. I can feel pretty, because of my Maker. Lesson Two- God doesn't make mistakes. You are beautiful! You are wanted! You are perfect, AS IS.

This revelation has stayed with me for the last 15 years. At 30 years old, I still remember that moment of the edge of my bed. The moment I realized I mattered to God. I had a coworker ask me once if I was always so confident. He was sure that I had been the popular girl in school. I laughed and then smiled really big and told him my story. In college, I got to tell my story again as a Resident Assistant in the dorms. I realized that women always face these questions, "Am I good enough?" "Am I pretty?" "Do I matter?" no matter how old you get. I suppose insecurity and self doubt is a struggle regardless of what year you were born. My life's lesson is this Your God is good enough. You are HIS , He loved you enough to send his only son Jesus to die on the cross to redeem all your sins. You were enough for Jesus to suffer a cruel death. You were enough for Jesus to rise from the dead to experience RELATIONSHIP with. You are ENOUGH because you my friend are RADICALLY LOVED by an amazing God. When you embrace your position with Christ and who you are as HIS, you too will break the shackles of insecurity and when you do, tell your story!

May 5, 2012

Why being a mom makes me a better teacher

Today I was scouring Pinterest (the website I love to get lost in) for ideas for baby boy. Instead, my thoughts immediately transferred to the classroom. "Child's sensory table"- Hmmm... how can I add sensory tables to 4th grade? Would the new principal mind a small sand table in my room? We could be digging for fossils or sight words?

Then, I read an article about science experiments creating simple machines. Immediately my mind wanders... Pulleys... don't they use those to hoist sails?.... how to I make a pulley? Could I create a pulley for kids to turn in their work by hoisting it up as a flag using the ceiling grid?

If not a pulley, how about a zip line? What can I do to make turning in work fun?

Toddler Craft- painting bubble wrap then transferring the dots to a cardstock Easter egg. My brain.... could I use this for probability? What is the probability there will be more green dots than blue?

As you can see.... the more I learn about child's play the more I am convinced that kids don't outgrow their need to learn through play. And lest you think by now that this hoisting classwork momma is all fluff, I will share with you some very hands on things I plan to use next year in my fourth grade class.

1. Egg carton math. Score the bottom with numbers. Add two buttons, shake. Multiply the two numbers. First one to 500 points (by adding the products) wins.

2. Bill board reading assessments. Students will create 4 rectangular prisms. The four prisms will stand up next to each other like a bill board. Each face (meaning all 4 together) will show a comprehension strategy. Then, when you turn the prisms (like those rotating bill boards) to a new face, you get a new concept. Each face will be colored a different color to create effect. Tactile and visual!!

Some ideas

- Main idea, 3 details from text to support main idea
- Authors Purpose
-Cause and 3 effects
- Connections
-Questioning the text 

3. Locks and keys, stick adhesive dots on lock and key. Score with math problems and solutions. Mix up keys and locks. Kid has to answer the question correctly to unlock it!! (The answer is on the key)

Loving my son and watching him learn has taught me volumes about how kids learn. My fierce love for him has tempered my heart for all the parents who so willingly entrust their best and finest treasures into my care. I want to be the teacher I would want my son to have. I want to take care to teach to the best of my ability. Because all kids, no matter whose they are, deserve nothing less.


Today I want to just be thankful. I want to remember today for days when discontentment tries to steal my joy. Should you be reading this list and think for a moment that my life is glamorous- please hear my heart- it's nowhere near glamorous, in fact, we're about broke at the moment. But we're happy anyway.

1. I have a very healthy, outgoing one year old who now weighs 20 pounds and is 30 inches long!
2. I have a husband whose love for me is unshakable. He is steady when I am a tornado of crazy at times.
3. We have a roof over our heads that we love to come home to.
4. We have a loyal, silly dog that reminds us daily to just be happy with the little things, like toast with peanut butter.
5. Noah's one year pics only cost us 10.00 due to a coupon!
6. Hubs took his watch in to have the scratches removed and they replaced it with a new one and gave him $3.00
7. I managed to walk away from Wal-mart only giving them 49.00 for groceries!! (This is half of my normal trips) (I don't coupon... we're just eating really cheap this week.)
8. Baby boy did outstanding with his one year shots. We were overjoyed because based on prior visits we were prepared for D-Day.
9. My classroom is all packed up! One HUGE thing off of my end of the year checklist. Now, I can plan for summer school.
10. My sister has a healthy baby in her belly and I am thrilled for her!!

If you have made it this far, thank you for reading! :) What are you thankful for today? And thank you Carly for asking such a great DQ today!