Mar 19, 2011
May 2000, I was facing high school graduation and creating my self-made time line for the future. Let's see, first on the list move out ,
right -away , make that 2 years later. Graduate college by 2005 , make that 2007. Get married by the time I am 22, actually 26. Have a baby by the time I am 25, make that 29. As you can see my plans, have never been on God's timeline. His way was longer, much longer, and better, yes much, much better. My little girl dreams of having a baby are finally coming to fruition. I remember praying last summer that the Lord would allow us to conceive a child, if it was His will. I was skeptical as I prayed because I knew that the Lord rarely gives me things in the timing I ask him for them. But in July, he answered our prayers exactly how we prayed them. He gave us a little boy due April 18. All life comes from the Father and so as I carry this child I know that God has a bigger purpose for this life than even I can see. It is a very humbling experience to carry a child. Humbling, because that little life, still in the womb, represents hope for so many grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends. Humbling because as much as I love him and worry about him, I know my love is unmatched by how Jesus loves this child. As I sit here awed by a Creator who does all these things so miraculously, I cannot help but cry. He has allowed me to be a mother, and I am unworthy. My husband and I really only desire two things for this little guy, one that he love God with all his heart. And two, that he love others. With 4 weeks left we cannot wait to see his face and start this journey. I think the moment I hold him I will finally understand just a little bit more how much God loves me.